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The Fourth Precept 不妄语

Musāvādā veramaṇī sikkhāpadaṃ samādiyāmi. (Pali)

As a person took refuge in the 3 jewels, he vowed to maintain the 5 precepts.  The Chinese simplifies it as avoiding 杀盗淫妄酒.  In particular, I find the fourth precept very subtle and very hard not to break.

Buddhists also talk about doing the Ten Virtuous Acts (十善业) or Avoiding the Ten Unwholesome Acts (十恶业), which seem to be the extended version of the five precepts.

In the ten virtuous acts, this single 4th precept is again broken up into four subcategories (語四善業道) namely:

  • 不妄语:不對他人说谎话、空话,不颠倒是非。don’t tell a lie nor said the opposite of what’s true
  • 不两舌:不在他人之间挑拨离间。don’t be double-tongued and say things to break up a good relation between two persons or two groups of people.
  • 不恶口:不用粗言侮辱他人。don’t use harsh languages nor bullying language (vulgarity?) on another
  • 不绮语:不花言巧语、阿谀奉承他人。don’t get involved in frivolous talking e.g. gossiping, saying only nice things to boost another’s ego, overly or unnecessarily praising or empty talking typically seen when a person is drunk.

So as you can see, (the first) not telling lie itself is pretty hard to maintain.  I lied all the time, from the time I was afraid my granny would cane me, I would lie unintentionally whenever I sense the cane will be coming my way if my granny knew I did something not agreeable in her ways.  So most people, like me, will they sense that look when it is coming a break a white lie?  It is also a habit that was developed from beginning-less time for eons because of that “passion for the good”, “aversion for the bad” habits.  Hence the story of George Washington admitting to cutting the tree and not lie was a classic we learned in Primary school.

Maybe being “double-tongued” or “hypocritical” is avoidable.  Especially when  we learned in school of its “badness” and being one who don’t want to be known or branded as “bad”, we can be cautious not to be  “double-tongued” (两舌).

Harsh language can be avoided if we can control our anger.  Anger can easily make us use words we normally do not use.  That superiority complex or inferiority complex and the urge to control or bully can also be avoided if we take care and remember to be kind all the time.  So kindness and anger control are two good antidotes to number 3 of the subcategories of the 4th precept.

The “no frivolous talking” is the hardest to avoid.  I grew up learning that to be sociable is to be able to mingle into the crowd and be talkative in a dining table.  And beyond making small talks (which I think is mostly frivolous talk), one usually makes up things to talk about or say what he does not believe in or blow up a fact or hide an ugly truth.  Sometimes even agreeing to somebody which may not be what you believe but because you don’t need to feed his/her ego, that constitutes frivolous talk.  For a long time when I was in the army, I developed this ability to talk to any kind of person, be it uneducated Hokkien Ah Beng, or highly educated soldiers who speaks with a foreign accent.  I take it as a skill and not a breaking of any precept in being able to always agree and finally acceptable.  To add to the matter, I ended up enjoy “empty talking” so much, I could not stop.

And having too much socializing, when we run out of topic, gossips or rumour-mongering and rumour spreading always follows.  Now that I am in the five precepts, I actually do not mind being branded as a geek (or unsociable) and not have to do all these frivolous talking.


Yuttadharmo’s story

My first YouTube meditation teacher mentioned a story about Sariputra.  it goes like this

One day some laypersons brought just enough desserts (let’s say these are donuts) to nine monks. One monk was missing so eight monks ate eight donuts and one donuts was left on the table.  Since the ninth monk did not show up for a looooong time, the other monks suggest Sariputra should eat the last one.

When Sariputra took the last donut, the ninth monk showed up, and saw how Sariputra was eating his portion.  Naturally his thought was full of how unjust this is.  Sariputra saw his expression and being already an Arhant, he could even read the ninth monk’s mind.  Sariputra saw sufferings in what to most of us, is an unimportant situation.  Sariputra did not say anything.  Neither did he apologize.  Instead he quietly made a simple vow never to eat any sweet desserts.  From then on, even the most delicious dessert offered to monks, Sariputra would turn it down.

Wa!  太洒脱! 潇洒呀!

Normal people will respond with a lot of “sorry’s”and explanation.  What’s more, normal people will continue to make the same mistake of making another person upset in a similar situation.

Once my wife saw me putting my face very near to my “Kindle Fire Tablet”without my glasses. So she started telling me (like I’m her son) that I shouldn’t do that and that the “blue light effect” would in the long run put me a chance of developing a tumour.

Naturally, I started grumbling back at her like an Grumpy Old Man.  I even brought up how she violates rules which I said were similar to this even though I nagged multiple times how bad those habits could be.

Then thought of the above story of Sariputra came up in my mind.  I said to myself, “why don’t I stop being so defensive and make a vow so that my wife will never be upset, at least about this tablet and blue light effect on me”.  So I made a small vow, and turn quietly turn off my tablet.  Since then, except for bringing the tablet to my interview in Pittsburgh (because I don’t have an iPad or a laptop), I have never read from the tablet.  I read a book instead.  I think I should even clear up all the items on that Kindle fire and give the tablet away.

Put Your Meditation into Practice

I read about this all the time.  Today I saw it again in Lion’s Roar.  But since I am alone in a small city in the (north western) corner of Pennsylvania, I have no teacher and I vaguely understand what “putting into practice” really means.


Anger — I got angry less frequently, and if I ever get angry, I caught myself.  I think this is similar to what happened with drifting in meditation.  You are bound to drift but you caught yourself and with “the method”, you come back to your breathe.

Craving 欲望 — I used to eat so much, now I can reasonably say I have very few cravings.  In fact if my wife asks me if I want to go home this summer or I need to see my family and friends at home, I usually just sit, contemplate and then shake my head in reply.  Plenty of people need me here.  Whether I am here or there, I’ll have to “do my things” to help a being.  Saying that this Jambudvīpa or  娑婆世界   in Chinese isn’t a place to have fun and make oneself powerful/rich/famous is what I learnt via 禅坐 and plenty of 大善知识.

Eating — I do not practice mindful eating during lunch and dinner.  My family thinks mealtime is a time to bond and so talking is what I do a lot.  Sometimes, I chew my food until it is almost liquid and similar to blended (except it is my teeth that blend, not a blender) then eat my food.  So any food taste good to me –even food with no salt and food with too much salt.  It is funny, the meditation group in my city wants to have a session where everyone brings chocolate and we do a mindful eating of the chocolate before Valentine’s Day.  Either they will not be able to do it, or they have a very vague idea of what mindful eating is.  My ideal would be to follow the sangha in most Theravada monastery and eat only once a day.  Actually, Chinese Mahayanists also follow that and they called it 八关斋戒。



Exothermic and Endothermic Reactions

My daughter having her Science class virtually at the lunch table at home:

Papa, sometimes I am so embarrassed when you are here hearing my Science teacher explaining, she sounds so cheesy.

I asked her if she understood the meaning of those words.  And then I asked her if her virtual classmates also understood.  She then gave it a long thought.

As a matter of fact, I have high respect for her acting that way.  Your teacher sounded cheesy, because she knew some of the students needed this act so that it will get into their brains, their consciousness, more easily.

She understood everything within seconds after the teacher explained. She is the “举一反三”-- kind of student, and I am sure she is not just stuck on those two jargons (“exothermic” and “endothermic”), because her language and Latin knowledge skills is far beyond mine, even though she jumped one grade and is the youngest in her class.


I said that because I tested her later.    This is only 7th grade Science. She could explain why there is a need to “bond” between sodium (Na) and the other atoms, Cl, she could give me another example by picking “Mg” and “S”.  And of course the words “exo” and “endo” are just mere words to describe what is happening in this chemical reactions.

I think I have little or no worries in her studies and I am so sure, I think this will go on forever.  When she was younger, and it was time to for me to teach her Math, I would suggest closing all the books and go for a walk in the park or around the neighbourhood.  This walk usually lasted 30 mins to an hour.  Knowing that she is strong in words and language, we would verbally engaged in the topic of the day, until, she would re-discover the Math topic for that day, or upon me telling her the answer, she would bombard me with 20 more; either to clarify or to straighten up some new questions that arises in her.

I would not say her Math is good, I do not see her as good as I was when I was in Primary six or secondary school.  But this method of teaching her, forced her not to use short cut in learning– that is, through understanding and through asking more questions.  So far, she has never had to memorize anything, because remembering everything after the end of discussion, is a mere by-product of all these intense discussion.

Again, I always tell her uncles/aunts and cousins in Indonesia that she is far from “smart” and the only thing we should avoid in learning is ” 不要在文字上转牛角尖了,要真懂,要觉悟”, (“quit memorizing and getting caught up in jargons and words, work on real understanding and real construct of the actual thing you are learning”).

The trade-off is:  learning is very slow (and for some painful and tedious), but I always ended up with a diligent daughter who continued with her curiosity and learning way after class is over.


Learning A New Language

The first time I was exposed to Japanese was when my brother introduced me to songs by Hideki Saijo (西城 秀樹).  We have no idea what the song was about but we managed to sing a few of his songs.  Initially we needed the lyrics (in RO MA Ji) but after many times, it became 滚瓜烂熟 (gun gua lan shu — roll melon rotten cooked) memorized.  We continue to perfect the accent, perfect the pitch/tone and perfect to sound like a native/local.

It was not until I was in the 30’s tht I ‘ve decided to learn some cool traveler’s Japanese.  Since I have a chance to pick my favourite, I remember I picked “Are you free tonight?” and practice until even the accent was indistinguishable from a native Tokyoite.  It does not make any sense to do that, as whenever someone answer my question in Japanese, I would have no way to understand the reply.  To prepare for that, I went a few steps further:

Me:  Kon ban o hima desu ka?                                          (Are you free tonight?)

She:  A….domo…iye                                                              (No, I’m sorry)

Me:  Do Shite?                                                                        (Why?)

And following that, I again would have no way of understanding let alone replying.  That was meaningless and shortlived fun for me.  But many years later, my friend dragged me along to take Japanese 102 class (skipping 101).  I took it reluctantly, struggled initially, had some fun with it and didn’t get a good grade.

I called that a 5-minute enthusiasm (五分钟热度)。

Last week, I chance upon a Taiwanese lady teaching Tibetan.  Again I was distracted.  I do not know how this distraction comes about.  Maybe it is another language, like Mandarin, Cantonese, it is tonal.   She only taught   (    ), and the whole night, I thought about those characters, wrote them in the air, wanting to perfect the “knowing”.  Whatever will it be for, I have no idea.  Then the next morning, I realize there are 30 of these characters I have to learn.  And for the i, U, E and O sounds of each of the 30 characters, I have to learn “kiku”, “siakkio”, “Jempo” and “Naro” vowels to go with them.  And there are probably another 6 more vowels that were not so common.  So this is like ” A, i, U, E ,O, and Ka, Ki Ku Ke Ko ” all over again as in Japanese.  Would this be another 5-minute enthusiasm (五分钟热度)?  I wonder.

But then, I should not think of its uses and benefits too much.  In the very least, they are interesting to me right now.  In the ChenReZig, we chant in Kagyu lineage Buddhist Center in this city, there are Tibetan characters on top of the English sounds.  For another short reason, this will start new neurons developing in my brain and reduce my chance of getting Dementia.  And it might sound silly, but I follow along and go to webpages and try to sing the characters songs for children, much like singing ABC in English.  This is only learning the alphabet, wish me luck.

For a list of the simple characters, please go to this link

PSLE result out on the 24th

I seriously do not remember the day my PSLE result was out but I remember my ‘O’ level, my  ‘A’-level and every single year of my NUS results.  I remember those because I knew there was going to be a big crowd, I knew there will be pushing and every scene is probably similar to a Black Friday rush in USA.

But I was never there early.  I usually appeared only after everybody knew their results,  when the crowd has long scattered or worse when there was no one left at the counter/window/notice board.

My daughter is 11 years old. This year if my guess is correct, it should be my daughter’s PSLE result.    But I do not have to go.  Because she is not taking her PSLE.  She is a seventh grader (similar to Sec one?) in Pennsylvania.  So I do not have to make any rush.  In fact, I have taught her to disregard all her results and behave like Scott Finch in “Mockingbird”, where school is only a learning ground and once she has done her learning, she merely needs to 『捫心自問』(touch your heart and ask oneself) “have you done your very best?” that is all that matters.  And so she lead a school life relatively guilt-free and with little pressure.  It seems she only enjoy school, never pressured by it.

The other day, her mother offer her an iPad mini from someone who just bought a new iPad and is willing to give the old iPad mini away.  Any child would only be too happy to own it.  But moments later, her mother changed her mind and decided to tell the person to give the iPad to someone who needed it more.
guanyin1 I quickly find time (after the announcement) to discuss with her what it would be like if the same situation were thrown at any of her cousins.  Her cousins (her age) in Indonesia would be very fortunate to have something like an iPad.  She knew it would hurt them so much, they would not be able to get out of it for days if not weeks or months.  But she quickly understand my reason to discuss.  Very quickly, like what 心 经 suggest, she got what I am trying to do.  Like 知道五蕴皆空 it removed her 苦厄. She may not be a Buddhist, but she has all the advantage of the skills I can pass to her.  She felt no misery, and it did not bother her very long, it was “let go, let go, let go” and she was not bitter nor unhappy.

What is the right choice of school

In Primary Six, I don’t quite understand my teacher when he mentioned why we should choose the best school and how we should be careful what to pick as the first choice.  As no parents helped me (nor compelled) me to pick my choice, I choose my first choice according to my teacher’s recommendation and ended up in my second choice which is my favourite choice because it is walk-able from my house!

I read with amazement my first “Buddhism book” from a Singaporean who followed Master Sheng Yan of Dharma Drum and in it.  In the book, the author mentioned that during his ‘O’ level time, he actually go against the trend and ‘rat race’ and picked polytechnic as his first choice and National JC as his second choice. Venerable Guo Jun (果骏,-Mahaboddhi Monastery) was a very fine student and so he made it to his first choice effortlessly!  But what I admire most about him is not his academics, but his endurance to do the Korean toughest traditional Seon (Sŏn, 禪) 90-day retreat 3 times!

When I was in my ‘O’ level, again I was faced with a choice of JC.  But I did not choose polytechnic despite the scare form my uncle, “English not so good, polytechnic was a better choice”.  My English wasn’t that good, but I thought JC would be more ‘fun’, because my brother was already in a JC and he seemed to show me that is the brighter path to take.  Basically I have no idea what I was doing because at that time I had no intention of going to the university at all.  My grandma gave me the impression that the university (or oversea education for that matter) is only for the rich, and we (阮人) as normal folks should only dream about it or wait for it in our next life.  So I pick my ACJC and had a blast of my teenage years in that school.

When great Naropa (那洛巴尊者) was young, he was well verse in “the study of logic, science, grammar, rhetoric and art.”  Comparing to him, I am maybe less than 10% of his ability in science.  Anyway, Naropa was about to go to the famous Nalanda University for his Buddhist study when some “dakini”(空行母) told him to basically:  “Stop philosophizing and seek out for a certain Tilopa for instruction!”  And so Naropa left Nalanda University to look for a certain person whom he did not recognize at first and was put to twelve very hard tests.  Some part includes grinding oil from sesame seeds for a prostitute.


In retrospect, I see that almost anything I chose from schools to JC to University to Master degree and PhD and even jobs were picked carefully.  Almost like a karmic force, I accepted one thing after another whether it was good or bad or so-so.  I have no regrets whatsoever.  After reading stories of great Tilopa, Naropa, Marpa, Milarepa and Gampopa.  And stories of venerables Yin Guang and Hui Neng, I felt very glade of how I let none of those things in my life stress me in any way.  As long as it is 善知识 and 大善知识, I will take is with complete challenge and contemplation.